Communication Breakdown
by isindismay
Summary: The Earl and the Major on a train. Again. But this time they are just Dorian and Klaus, on a lovely trip to Canada. Or that's how it's supposed to be. With these two, nothing can be as simple as that. Dorian/Klaus
1. Chapter 1

Dorian sighed and looked out of the window at the sights of New Brunswick. Even blurred by the motion of the train, it was beautiful for sure, as the Canadians would say. He just wished he could enjoy it.

When Klaus had agreed to join him on this trip, he was overjoyed. Finally the two of them could spend some time together off the clock, as it were. As much as he enjoyed the times their paths intersected accidentally or when they agreed to work together, it was high time they had more than a few snatched moments alone together.

Dorian hadn't told his men why he had gone off on this trip. That was one of Klaus's conditions. James had cried and assumed he was meeting some hunky Mountie or a charming snowboarding instructor. Dorian had hugged him and promised to bring back the most reasonably priced bottle of maple syrup.

He was lying alone on his bed on the sleeper train to Sainte-Foy, Quebec. The sun had not yet set, but he had told Klaus he was going to lie down. Klaus had merely acknowledged this with a nod. In hindsight, his tone said "leave me alone" rather than "join me".

He grabbed a pillow and covered his head with it. How had this gone so wrong? He recalled last night's dinner overlooking the harbour in Halifax, Nova Scotia. It was sunset, and the golden light glittered over the water. The food was exquisite, the finest freshly caught seafood paired with local wines. Perfect.

Except for the fact Klaus was already not speaking to him. He had been pushed to get more than a grunt out of him since he grabbed hold of his arm and kissed him on the cheek during a sightseeing tour of Peggy's Cove earlier in the day. An older couple had looked at each other and smiled at them. Klaus shrugged him off and walked off into the tour group without a backward glance.

Back at dinner in Halifax, Dorian looked at Klaus, who was staring intently down at his wine glass. He said his name, and Klaus met his eyes for the first time since they had sat down. Dorian reached across the table and touched his hand. Klaus moved his hand from his glass onto the table almost letting Dorian hold it, but quickly withdrew it when the waiter arrived with dessert.

Dorian rolled onto his back and looked up at the underside of the bunk above. What had he done wrong? He was wondering if he had been wrong to invite Klaus on this trip in the first place. But if he didn't want to come with him, then why hadn't he refused? He could have yelled at him and called him an idiot for the mere suggestion, as he had for many of his other suggestions over the years.

Sighing and putting an arm over his eyes, he resigned himself to a day of feeling sorry for himself. Perhaps he should have know better than hope for so much from Klaus. After all, the German had resisted his advances for years, only showing the barest hints of interest in him. Had he really believed they would frolic around Canada hand in hand? He grimaced. Of course not. But the memory of how Klaus had rescued him and took care of him resurfaced in his mind. And the way he had held his hand on the plane that time. They had not flown together this time, but met at Halifax International Airport. He played it cool and casual for, well, most of the first day. Maybe that was his mistake, maybe he should have waited for Klaus to make the first move.

He curled up and faced the wall. Just as he was drifting off into a nap, he heard the cabin door open and shut. A strong smell of alcohol filled the room. So that was what Klaus had been doing.

Dorian felt the mattress shift as Klaus sat down on his bunk. There was a crack. "Autsch! Scheisse!" Klaus must have hit his head on the bunk above. Dorian didn't move. He had been hoping Klaus would come back to the room, but now that he had he didn't know what to say to him.

The scent of cigarette smoke filled the room. "I'm sorry," Klaus said softly. "I'm sorry Dorian."

Dorian considered if he should stop pretending to sleep. The simple apology warmed his heart and he wanted to wrap his arms around Klaus despite how his actions today had hurt him. But he wondered if he had anything more to say to him while he thought he wasn't awake.

He was waiting for a while. If Klaus tried to leave the room, he was ready to spring into action and stop him, but for now he lay still.

"Oh, ich liebe dich." It was such a faint whisper that Dorian wondered if he had imagined it. His heart leapt. Even though he had been drinking and didn't say it to his face, it felt so wonderful to hear. He held onto that feeling, reluctant to do anything to ruin the moment.

Then suddenly it felt like his hair was being pulled out of his head. He screamed.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Klaus cried.

Dorian rolled over and looked at Klaus, who had fallen off the bed and was now sitting on the floor.

"What was that for?" Dorian demanded, rubbing his head.

"I dropped my cigarettes. Your hair was in the way."

Dorian fumbled around and found the packet, then threw it at Klaus.

"You're drunk. Did you have fun without me?" Dorian said, sharper than he intended.

"No," Klaus said, moving to a cross-legged position on the floor. "A Canadian woman talked to me about her family for two whole hours! I kept moving carriages but she followed me!"

Dorian couldn't help but laugh. "She must have been charmed by the handsome German man travelling alone."

Klaus gave him a sharp look. "I don't think so. I now know her husband's life story. She made him out to be some sort of mythical hero."

"How lovely. I hope one day someone will talk about me that way," Dorian said, rolling over to look at Klaus and propping himself up on one arm. "Did you tell her about me?"

"I couldn't," Klaus said, looking deadly serious. "She wouldn't let me get a word in."

Dorian laughed.

Klaus lit another cigarette and looked out of the window.

Dorian couldn't contain himself any longer. "I have to confess, I wasn't sleeping. I heard what you said."

Klaus almost dropped his cigarette.

"Apology accepted," Dorian said.

Klaus looked visibly less tense, but said nothing.

"Was I too much yesterday? Do you want me to back off?" It broke his heart to say those words, but he only wanted Klaus to be with him if that was what he wanted too. He hid his feelings with a laugh. "I will promise to stay at least an arm's length away from you for the rest of the holiday if you like."

Klaus didn't look at him, but gave an almost imperceptible head shake.

Dorian stretched out his hand towards him. "Come over here," he said.

Klaus stood up and went to the window. He opened it and threw out his barely-smoked cigarette. Then he knelt down and rested his crossed arms on the bed. Dorian smiled and moved a little closer to him. His breath was quick and shallow, and smelled of alcohol and cigarettes. Dorian reached out to put a hand on the back of Klaus's head, guiding him towards him and preventing him from banging his head again.

Klaus's lips were warm and dry against his, pressing against his own passionately but inexpertly. Dorian had no doubt that the German had had many admirers in his life. He wondered if he had rejected all of them.

When they parted, Klaus had his forearms resting on the bed on either side of Dorian's head. Klaus still looked serious, but also flushed. Dorian smiled. Klaus didn't return the smile. In fact he looked deeply uncomfortable, as if he was not sure what was supposed to happen next.

Dorian reached out and touched his face, leaning in for another kiss. Klaus kissed him back.

When they parted this time, Dorian giggled from the thrill of finally sharing a proper kiss with Klaus. Klaus seemed unnerved by this and broke eye contact.

"Our first kiss was on a train," Dorian said.

"Yes. You tricked me."

Dorian giggled again. "I didn't mean to!" he protested.

Klaus gave him a look.

"Are you glad that I did?" Dorian said, twirling a curl around his finger.

Klaus appeared to consider the question for a while.

They were interrupted by a blood curdling scream.

Klaus banged his head again, and sprang to his feet.

There was a thundering of footfalls coming towards their carriage. And as Dorian got up, a hammering at their door.

"What the hell is going on out there?" Klaus shouted as he wrenched the door open.

"There 'as been a moider!" cried a woman dressed like a 1940s femme fatale. She mopped her brow with a handkerchief and promptly fell over.

Klaus grabbed his gun and holster from his bag, and strapped it on as he stepped over the fainted woman. Dorian helped the woman to a sitting position, and she urged him to follow Klaus.

They made their way through several carriages, until they found a crowd gathered in one. Klaus pushed his way through the people. There was a man slumped in a seat, covered in something red.

"This isn't a real murder!" Klaus announced.

Everyone turned to look at him.

As always, thank you for reading. I was going to leave this as a surprise, but this one is probably going to have several chapters :)


	2. Chapter 2

This took altogether too long to write. And incidentally was partially written on various trains. Hope you enjoy!

What kind of joke is this? Klaus thought to himself as he looked at the phoney corpse. He could even see that the so-called actor was still breathing. And why on earth was the whole train car staring at him?

Dorian laughed nervously. "Friends, if you would just excuse my partner and I for one moment?" He grabbed hold of Klaus's wrist and pulled him back into the previous train carriage.

Klaus stared at Dorian. He wanted to shout at the damned Englishman, but he could see the terribly smiley Canadian woman waving at him from the other end of the carriage. Also the indecision about what to shout about first rendered him speechless.

"I signed us up to take part in a murder mystery," Dorian explained.

"What? Why didn't you tell me?"

Dorian smiled and twirled a curl around his finger. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

Klaus narrowed his eyes.

"All right, I was nervous about how you would react."

"Partners? What is that supposed to mean?"

Dorian laughed and touched Klaus's arm. "Business partners," he said, gazing at him with an expression that said I know what you're thinking. "You are playing Henry Smith and I am playing Hans Schmidt. We own Smith Schmidt International Shipping Company."

"That does not sound very plausible."

Dorian laughed. "It's a murder mystery! It's not supposed to be plausible. It's just a bit of fun."

Fun. Klaus had never held with the idea of fun. It seemed like too much pressure. There was no point to it, no way to measure success or failure. But a murder mystery, that was something he could work with. That had a point to it. Find the murderer. Klaus rolled up his sleeves.

"Would you like to change for dinner first?" Dorian asked him. The murderer had been caught and they were now outside in the corridor in front of their cabin.

"Excuse me?"

"Dinner is in an hour, I need to get ready. I expect you will too?"

Klaus frowned. "There is nothing wrong with what I am wearing."

Dorian looked him up and down and smiled. "I suppose not. But I am biased, I think you look good in anything."

The train shook and Dorian was caught off balance. Klaus was used to the movement of the train by now and had his feet planted firmly on the ground. Dorian braced himself against the wall Klaus was stood against. Klaus caught the thief around the waist.

"You finally caught me," Dorian said with a smirk. He was leaning his whole body against Klaus. The Major couldn't breathe.

Dorian touched his face, and Klaus flinched. His eye was badly bruised. "Go and get some ice," he said, leaning his forehead against the German's.

"I'm fine," Klaus said, taking hold of Dorian's shoulders and pushing him. Dorian was still leaning against him but it made a few inches of space between them.

"It's your own fault, you know."

Klaus gave Dorian a look, but didn't protest. The thief was right after all. He shoved Dorian into the opposite wall. There was still little space between them.

"I love it when you're rough with me," Dorian said, turning his head and giving Klaus a sidelong look.

Then they were kissing fervently.

When they parted, they stood and stared at each other for a long time. Klaus worried about the state of his health. His breathing was ragged, like he had just run a marathon.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Could I just sneak right by you guys?" It was the overly friendly Canadian woman.

Klaus threw himself away from Dorian and hit the wall of the corridor so hard he almost bounced off it.

"Of course," Dorian said with an easy smile. "I'll just go freshen up," he said to Klaus, and disappeared into their cabin.

"You two are so darn cute," the Canadian woman told him with a giggle, as she followed Klaus down the corridor to a place that was wide enough to pass him with some decency.

Klaus was speechless. He could feel his cheeks burning in embarrassment. How much had she seen?

"There really isn't so much room in those cabins, eh?" she said, grinning at him as they came to a place where she could walk past him.

Klaus wanted to scream. Instead he patted his pockets for his cigarettes.

Klaus went to sit in one of the viewing cars while Dorian got ready in the tiny cabin. The talkative Canadian woman was nowhere to be seen thank God, so Klaus found himself alone with his thoughts.

It had been easier when he thought Dorian was dying, Klaus reflected. An awful thought yes, but a true one all the same. It was much easier to deal with when they only had a limited amount of time to hold on to one another. Klaus coughed, he was embarrassing himself with the memories.

Now they were trapped together on this train for many more hours. Why had he agreed to this?

Many months ago, he had received a series of answerphone messages from Dorian saying he needed to speak to him. The thief didn't sound hurried so he assumed it was not urgent. I will call him later, he told himself. And while he considered it, he did not.

At one point Klaus thought he had given up. But then the sound of his melodious English accent once again graced his answering machine. Klaus sat by the phone, just staring at it. What did the Earl have to say to him? He had to admit he was curious.

The phone rang, startling him. He moved his hand to pick up the receiver, but then replaced it in his lap, and watched the phone as it rang.

The ringing stopped.

Klaus sighed and picked up the phone, dialling Dorian's number. He didn't need to check, he had heard the Earl recite it enough times to remember it. Including the international dialling code, he noted. How insulting that he thought that he would not know even that.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end of the line said.

"Who is this?"

"It's you! Why are you calling here? The Earl doesn't want to speak to you."

"James, give me the phone."

There was what sounded like a scuffle. The Major rolled his eyes.

"Klaus!"

"Earl."

"How are you?"

Klaus groaned. "I have no time for petty pleasantries, get to the point."

"Oh. Shame. But very well. I have been thinking of taking a trip. I would like you to accompany me."

Klaus had been holding his breath. He let it out slowly as to not make a sound. No. The Earl had helped him many times before, he supposed it was only fair that he repay the favour. "Okay. What's the mission?"

Dorian laughed. "No no, not a mission. More like a holiday."

"What?" The Major almost dropped the phone.

"Klaus I want to see you. I miss you. The moments we have together are so few, and so brief. My heart longs to be with you."

Klaus snorted. "We see each other all the time. Too much, if anything." It was too easy for him to say these things on the phone. Falling into the usual patterns felt like a safety net.

"Oh Major, don't be so cruel. Come away with me. We can leave reality behind, for a while at least. If we like it, we might never come back."

Klaus thought about it. What would life be like, travelling the world accompanied by Dorian, instead of regularly bumping into and clashing with him? Nobody would know who they were. He could forget who he was, for a while. Klaus made a noise that wasn't exactly a word.

"Was that a yes?"

"I cannot be sure I will be allowed to take time away from work."

"I will send you the details." Dorian sighed. "If you cannot make it, I will take the trip alone and think of you."

Dorian would never know whether Klaus was smiling or rolling his eyes during his silence.

"I hope to see you soon, Klaus. From Eroica with love." He blew a kiss down the line.

Klaus put the phone down and stared at it for a while. Was he actually considering this? He was considering it, wasn't he? He put his head in his hands.

Plane and train tickets arrived as promised, and Klaus's leave was granted. No questions asked. A shame too, as he had come up with a brilliant explanation about having to housesit for a distant aunt who no-one had heard about before.

So there was no getting out of it that way. Still, there was always the chance of a last minute urgent mission forcing him to cancel his plans. As the departure date drew closer, Klaus had to come to terms with the fact that this holiday was going to proceed as planned.

A few days before, he neatly folded the required number of moderately casual shirts and trousers into a suitcase. While he did this, he considered the option of just not getting on the plane. The thought of spending so much time with Dorian, well Klaus didn't even know how he felt about that. What he thought was: this is a bad idea. But then he thought of Dorian waiting for him. He would be all sad and wistful. Klaus sometimes thought that he must enjoy being sad and wistful, he seemed to almost wallow in it.

He found himself driving to the airport. Checking his luggage. Getting on the plane. Perhaps he could just get drunk and forget who he was for a while. That might be all right.

He got a drink from the bar, and the barman noted Klaus's black eye with some amusement. "So you were the one who caught Rosie, eh?" he said.

Klaus grunted and threw back the whiskey. "News travels fast here."

"It sure does. I see she got you real good."

Klaus nodded, and indicated to him to refill his glass.

He had to smile to himself as he recalled the events of the murder mystery. It had been quite boring at first, interviewing a succession of suspects with his "business partner". They all had ridiculously unbelievable reasons why they could have wanted to kill the late Mr Jones. And told them about it in great detail, punctuating the tales with protestations that they didn't do it, though.

Klaus was getting annoyed with the whole business. But then Dorian noted that they had not seen the woman who was stuck in the 1940s (nobody else was dressed in clothes from that period, Klaus noted).

Dorian had sat back at let Klaus demand information about the anachronistic woman. Working on the information they had received, they made their way to a carriage further down the train. The woman set off running when they found her. She had obviously done this before, she ran easily down the corridor despite her heels and the rocking of the train. Klaus and Dorian bounced off the walls in pursuit.

Seeing his chance as the woman paused to open a door between carriages, Klaus leapt and made a grab for her. He caught her by the throat and they were immediately thrown sideways. The woman struggled, unable to make a sound. She hit him so hard that an untrained man would have let her escape. But she had not been expecting to face Major Klaus von dem Eberbach.

Dorian refused to let him carry her back to the other end of the train, so instead they civilly frogmarched her, as much as one can frogmarch in single file.

Later, they sat down to dinner. As they waited for the main course to arrive, Klaus stared out of the window. He couldn't help but notice Dorian staring at him with a smile half hidden by his hand.

"What?" Klaus said, turning towards him.

Dorian smiled even more. "I love you," he said.

Klaus frowned, then shook his head and felt the corners of his mouth raising almost involuntarily. "This is not going to work," he said.

Dorian cocked his head to one side. "Us, you mean?"

Klaus narrowed his eyes, as if to say of course.

"Why not?"

"This train journey will end. And then we will have to return to our normal lives."

Dorian laughed. "Since when did either of us have normal lives?"

"Touché."

"We will figure things out, my dear Major," Dorian said. He reached out to take Klaus's hand, under the table. Klaus tensed. This was okay, he told himself, no-one can see. "There will be other opportunities to get away. And I daresay both of us will take the option of early retirement."

Klaus scoffed. "Retirement? You never started work!"

"I'll have you know I work hard!" Dorian protested, but he was laughing.

Klaus squeezed Dorian's hand under the table and picked up his wine glass with his free hand. "No murder mysteries next time," he said.

Dorian smiled and clinked his glass with Klaus's. "Deal," he said.


End file.
